Jillzey's blog

09:01 Photo: GPOYW: When I

• 09:01 Photo: GPOYW: When I wake up I’ll look like this again edition. tumblr.com/xt9dewjof #
• 09:13 @suckmybeard Now you're going to have to talk to me more and tell me about the other things people do in bed. #
• 09:52 @suckmybeard I know. It's Les. #
• 10:45 @EmaPalooza I yell it at Kevin all the time. #
• 11:01 RT @tnylgn: HELP! I NEED AN ADULT! #
• 11:19 The Kid has a huge hole in his jeans but I only care that his hair looks like Gomer Pyle. Sent him back for round #2. #
• 11:54 Kevin is slobbery. #
• 13:31 PBR = Pukey Balls of a Robot. #
• 13:36 I do believe Kevin is trying to make me fatter so you boys won't pay attention to me. He didn't count on my amazing blow job skills. #
• 14:28 I'm going to buy a gun so I can sit around cleaning it. That's hot. #
• 14:53 No, YOU have the sickest sense of humor. #
• 15:16 My I Heart Homer shirt is being shipped today. Squee. Jill pee. (@homerdash ington) #
• 15:20 @IAmAntilia Can you sub-pantie suck me? #
• 15:29 @IAmAntilia Try once? #
• 15:30 Went to hide a tracking device in @HungryLikeKevin's prostate. He just smiled and said, "Thanks, @YuckyBot." #
• 15:35 @torturedjew As leader of the ugly, overweight woman: Watch it, mister. We'll come over and eat all your cookies. #
• 16:45 Nothing. Just get my bi-weekly dose of guilt for the kid's therapy. #
• 17:30 Bitch, go cook for me. #
• 17:32 .@HungryLikeKevin is barefoot, pregnant with a beer baby and in the kitchen cooking me food. Today the apocalypse will not start. #
• 23:07 Taking it like a man with my hand down my pants. Since...now. #

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06:18 I just masturbated so

• 06:18 I just masturbated so long my hand is numb. #
• 10:44 I can still taste the robot balls. I might need to rinse with Drano. #
• 11:00 So, I thought to make today different, maybe I won't post an ass shots. You're welcome. #
• 11:43 Some days I don't hate everyone. Today's not one of those days. Fuckers. #nonotyou #
• 12:09 Hey, Bitch, if I could see what's on your computer screen I'd be able to break your keyboard on your fucking head. #techsupportnot=topsychic #
• 14:27 @HungryLikeKevin He's hoovering o ver us just to make me finally commit that murder-suicide I've been daydreaming about. #
• 14:29 Apparently, Tuesday wants to fuck me. It better not want to cuddle after. #
• 15:49 @tnylgn Why do we not work together? #
• 17:55 @theothersarah Hero #1 #
• 17:58 In this kind of heat, how is a girl expected to keep her legs closed. #
• 18:30 Ruining @StellaTheBitch's personal brand. #
• 19:21 Knee sweat: The new mating call #summer1 0 #
• 19:21 @theothersarah Are you sexting me from the hot tub? That is the hottest shit ever! #
• 19:34 @theothersarah I love being your date for the evening. I'm a good licker. #
• 19:35 @sexycommando I'm what they call one hawt bitch. #
• 19:36 @Xytrex Are you stalking someone else? I'll be over in the corner crying now. #
• 19:43 @sexycommando It's only dry because o f the old men and the cobwebs. #
• 19:49 @sexycommando Not so room but spotless clean. #
• 19:50 @Xytrex You're just trying to coax me out of the corner, right? It's because you don't want to disappoint all your ladies. Sad face gets it. #
• 01:04 Laying on my bed and working at 1am. My mom is never going to believe I'm not a prostitute. #
• 01:27 @suckmybeard Wait, I can do other things in my bed besides sleep and work? #

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13:06 Photo: Current Status: Sleepy

• 13:06 Photo: Current Status: Sleepy and sorting through #bewbday pictures. tumblr.com/xt9da3o9y #
• 13:13 For @azzman on his birthday. Nobody else look it's secret. twitpic.com/24qia8 #
• 13:24 @MisterElGuapo Did you peek? I knew if anyone did it would be you. #
• 13:55 @theothersarah I'll show you the real thing, tootsie. #
• 14:01 Yes, I will punish @MisterElGuapo, @bfriend and @valora_ixchel for peeking with handcuffs and a flogger. #
• 14:29 Someone is getting a little greedy but since it's his bday, I'll let him request a 2nd pic. Happy bday, @Azzman. twitpic.com/24r1hz #
• 14:35 Jesus, now you all can piece together almost a full body shot. Shit. #
• 14:37 @theothersarah You can tap my ass anytime! #
• 14:42 @monikkab I love you too! #
• 16:09 I really could use someone who's not so comfortable w/me laying around in my underwear that he just sitsbdown & tells me about a video game. #
• 16:40 PSA - Kids, as a sort of well-known Internet personality*, I talk to literally dozens of people a day. Many... tumblr.com/xt9daja1v #
• 17:18 12 minutes and I start training for #PBRDrinkOff2010. #
• 17:22 @theothersarah I bought one the other day. I'm going to crack into it now. 8 minutes to go. #
• 17:32 PBR #1 #
• 17:34 @YUCKYBOT I don't need PBR to scream Suck His Dick. I'm always all cokes up. (besides, it's a fun way to scar the kid) #
• 17:36 So, I've started drinking. Ask me questions so I don't have to talk to Kevin tonight. tumblr.com/xt9dand4c #
• 17:38 @veggiemanson #PBRDrinkOff2010 is going to be awesome! #
• 17:45 @mtillman313 That hurts my boobies. #
• 17:47 I heart @Kwamster. #
• 17:52 Surprise attack. #
• 17:53 Kevin: That smells like beer. Me: That's because I was blowing it. #
17:54 PBR #2 #
• 17:56 @BDGarp It's like you know my family or something. #
• 18:01 Hey, Internet Boyfriends, @HungryLikeKevin said that I look like I'm 40. Send him hate replies. #
• 18:04 @HungryLikeKevin Whore! #
• 18:05 RT @benmarvinlive: Drinking with 2 fine ass bitches from the internet across 3 time zones. @theothersarah @Jillzey #
• 18:05 @BDGarp My cousins are hot. So is my mom. She'd love you! #
• 18:11 @scottEweinberg 1. Currently, it's highlighted. Naturally it's a little more auburn. 2. No, I don't think they do. #
• 18:17 @BDGarp In your pants. hahah. Sorry. I'm drinking and can't help myself. :) #
• 18:18 @killaguhrilla Yeah. I'm with Kevin. #
• 18:31 PBR #3 #
• 18:38 Belching like the hot bitch that I am. #
• 18:39 I do believe that @scottEweinberg might be in love with my hair. Not with me, just with my hair. #
• 18:43 @scottEweinberg Kevin doesn't think they are all that big. twitpic.com/24qia8 #
• 18:54 Seal is broken #
• 19:05 @scottEweinberg Take up? He already sucks lots of penis. That's why he loves you, didn't you know that? :) #
• 19:10 @scottEweinberg We're not Mormon. They excommunicated me when I was 13. :) #
• 19:10 @ImNotAva Today is a good day. For Azzman's birthday I posted bewb and ass pictures. :) #
• 19:15 Shit. I ate and slowed down on the drinking. I need to kick it back up. #
• 19:15 @scottEweinberg Yes, I hear they really don't like Clairol products. You're so quick. :) #
• 19:16 @fiesty_pants Really? I thought your fix involved making me wait around for your ass for over and hour? #
• 19:18 @anaria :) I think he likes my hair. :) I answered him too. No, it's highlighted. It's naturally more auburn. No, they don't care. #
• < em>19:18 The personality matches the drapes. #
• 19:20 @notmick Always. #
• 19:21 @MisterElGuapo You and @ImNotAva are so sweet to me. I'm going to keep you both for ever and ever. #
• 19:27 @anaria Yeah. I tend to fuck around with the color a lot.There is bleach and black still in there. My personality matches the drapes. :) #
• 19:34 Jillzigga! Hahahaha #
• 19:46 @theothersarah Kevin doesn't think my boobies are v ery big. twitpic.com/24qia8 #
• 19:47 How many beers and then I start typing in all caps? #
• 19:47 Shit. Got to pee again. #
• 19:47 @JezebelTheGreat I would junk punch Chris Berman if I saw him. #
• 19:52 Me and @benmarvin are peeing together. #
• 19:53 Hey fellas, me and @jezebelthegreat are talking sports. Get your hard-ons now. #
• 19:56 @theothersarah We can pudding wrestle fo r captainship on Friday night. I think it's a win/win. #
• 19:56 @truffleperv Mine are D cup with GIANTs for nipples. :) #
• 20:08 I've almost had enough PBR that I don't care it tastes like a robots balls. Almost. #
• 20:15 @theothersarah Really we just need to alert @benmarvin. He will set up the ring. #
• 20:30 I can feel my heart. I'm surprised because I didn't know I had one. #
• 20:45 @scodal NERD. :) #
• 20:45 @YUCKYBOT I'm not. want to run away with me? #
• 20:47 Kevin has giant cocks on his shirt. #
• 20:51 I have successfully watched Sherlock Holmes again. Well, I didn't really watch it. It was more like it was playing in front of me. #
• 20:56 I'm not evil. Don't believe them. #
• 21:52 Having a contest with my life coach to see who can get the most drunk. Damn him for winning. #
• 23:03 Seriously, people, have you seen how fucking funny I am? tinyurl.com/2857a9p #

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07:38 I'm awake. Did I

• 07:38 I'm awake. Did I do something to make God hate me last night? Oh, wait, now I remember,..yes, I believe I did. #
• 07:45 My cat is wandering around my bed looking for morning sex. I don't have the heart to tell him that doesn't exist here. #
• 07:55 I wonder when that whore, @luvmesum, is going to come and get her car and crawl into bed with me. #
• 08:17 Dear, well, Everyone... - You know what my favorite thing is? *insert sarcastic look* When someone spends... tumblr.com/xt9d72een #
• 08:18 @moegreeb Are you near a window? And why are we not n eighbors? #
• 08:21 @tnylgn You have no idea how hot that just made me. #
• 08:29 Star fucking myself because I'm a self-service kind of lady. #
• 08:45 If @veggiemanson brings me breakfast I'll get naked again. #
• 09:11 @strandell Mine says, "Pull my hair." #
• 10:10 Texting pictures of my tits. Happy Sunday. #
• 10:31 Texting pics of my bewbs and @azzman is no where to be found. #
• 10:55 Holy Buttplug, Batman. #
• 10:58 Favorite DM quote of the morning: You could do me with a burka on. #
• 11:05 @azzman *pointing at myself* #
• 11:34 This weekend is being named: Waiting around for @luvmesum. I might strangle her. I wonder if I'm too pretty to go to prison. #
• 11:46 So, @strandell is trying to convince that men wouldn't want me to use a stop watch to time how long they last in bed. I'm sure he's wrong. #
• 12:13 That's right. I'm going to hurt you back, hang nail. You fucker. #
• 14:35 I love @veggiemanson's phallic food. #
• 20:51 Photo: Shower porn. drool tumblr.com/xt9d8fsy1 #

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09:08 I was going to

• 09:08 I was going to say good morning but then my cat decided he wanted to make out so you all had to wait. Good morning. #
• 09:24 Kevin believes you all, especially @itsjustgoldie, RT me when you feel guilty about being sexually attracted to him. I might pee. #
• 09:28 Thanks to @pmetten1 for sacrificing last night and flirting with drunk Jillzey. Thank him for taking one for the team. #FF #
• 09:32 @scodal @mtillman313 @denisa1 @stylista_alisha @SkinbyVNikol @jimmymanners @designisgo @rex_ferric @valora_ixchel Thanks for the #FF! #
• 09:39 What was the last thing that you did while topless? — Woke up, checked my phone for sexts, checked Twitter, then f… 4ms.me/drD2ol #
• 09:41 @traviswseale I like to push over little kids building sandcastles so I'm totally down with the long beach walk! #FF #
• 10:09 Now I'm going to attempt to figure out what @sensible @hushmel and @scodal were talking about yesterday that involved me. Stand by. #
• 10:12 @hushmel It appears @sensible is jealous that we've met. Thanks for the tatas compliment. I do twitpic them often. Hm. I'll be in CLT in Aug #
• 10:12 Wait, I'm a witch? Rude, @sensible. Now I'm fantastic? I can't keep up. Thanks for the morose warning. You know I hate downers. #
• 10:18 Hey, @scodal, how are you? Just for you.... twitpic.com/243dqy #
• 11:11 Hey, new followers, I probably don't have time to look at all the email notifications today. So say "Hi" & give yourself a big lick from me. #
• 11:17 After a thorough self-examination, I believe it is safe to say I do not have clit cancer. #
• 12:04 Is it narcissistic to masturbate to a picture of yourself? Um, I'm asking for a friend. #
• 13:34 @hushmel Dudes are dumb. #
• 13:39 Friends that sext are Friends Forever. #
• 13:53 I better go start dinner for @luvmesum. If I don't feed her she won't put out. #
• 13:57 Hey, @HungryLikeKevin is pretty excited about this so surprise him for when he gets home and tell him congrats. tinyurl.com/2ejfx37 #
• 14:04 @scottEweinberg I don't believe you anymore. You even come to town once a year but never call me. (you know, I get called that a lot) #
• 14:38 @JezebelTheGreat Hot stuff! #
• 15:22 Sweaty, cleaning, probably smelly, super gross but at least my cat still wants to hump me. #
• 17:15 @luvsmesum You better. Dinner smells delicious. #
• 17:29 If I asked your parents (assuming you are still on dec… — Both my parents are alive and we are on great terms. I… 4ms.me/doFttq #
• 19:02 Look @theothersarah, I'm wearing a shirt! You so proud of me. bit.ly/d7Chj2 #
• 19:05 So how late does your dinner guest have to be b efore you can start eating without her? #
• 19:09 Are you all following @IAmAntilia? You should. Maybe if she reaches 1000 followers tonight she's let me play with that tongue of hers. #FF #
• 19:12 @scottEweinberg Damn that Kevin. He is always vagina-blocking me. #
• 19:15 @jodiekearns I have no doubt that he is. Kevin even told him to be raunchier but I'm sure that will make @scotteweinberg nervous. :) #
• 19:15 @theothersarah I'm not putting it on Facebook though. Those bitches don't deserve a shirt. :) #
• 19:50 @IAmAntilia Can I put that pic of you in my "Alone Time Bank"? #
• 20:09 @IAmAntilia I never share with Kevin. #
• 21:45 Heather is touching Kevin's eunuch. #
• 23:19 I have stopped humping @foptimusprime for now. #
• 23:19 I will resume feeding him oreos and dry humping him soon. #
• 00:02 Boobies #
• 02:10 @strandell< /a> wait. I thought that was supposed to be when I was there. #

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07:38 This morning will be

• 07:38 This morning will be conducted naked from bed. That's all. #
• 07:45 Just waiting for someone to deliver breakfast on bed. #
• 07:45 Or wake up the house bitch and tell him to make me food. #
• 08:00 @sexycommando That's why you want a house bitch instead of a girlfriend. GF requires shit. House bitch is just happy to be around. #
• 08:14 @RavenOfDespair @sensible do I need to send you two to different corners? #
• 08:15 No morning sex causes migraines, right ? #
• 08:16 @theothersarah Good morning , sugar. #
• 08:21 Can't decide which is more important to have next to my bed, headache medicine or my dildo. Adult decisions are hard. #
• 08:53 I'm dressed. All hate mail can be forwarded to @hungrylikekevin. #
• 12:47 Just giving #FF thank you head. Thanks, lovers. #
• 12:59 My grandma always said, "The early bird gets the head." Sorry @sensible. #
• 13:43 No, YOU just stripped in front of @hrbattershell. #
• 15:18 Just pound it. #
• 16:38 I'm more than just my tatas. Just kidding. I'm not. #
• 16:40 @benmarvin Will you be signing boobs again at 4:00-4:02 on August 19th? #
• 16:57 POUND IT! #
• 16:58 Shake your ass. #
• 16:59 Hey, Tiny. Want to see my gun? #
• 17:22 Sharing ebook wisdom. #
• 17:34 I'm hot from a distance. #
• 17:43 Tell them I have tits. #
• 18:25 Nose tickles! Nose tickles! My imaginary me is having sex. #
• 18:37 Friends that don't give you shit for texting boys during your alone time are the best. #
• 18:37 Bitches! Pound it. #
• 19:32 What's a little ball sweat between friends. #
• 19:34 I can smell your perfume from two cars over. Whore! #
• 19:35 Vagina. #
• 19:41 My glasses bring all the boys to my yard. #
• 19:50 Yummtastic. #
• 20:12 I'm classy as shit. No actual shit. #
• 20:57 Kevin thinks my kid reminds him of a brontosaurus. Yes, he thinks they were real animals. #
• 21:01 Getting drunk in my front yard, bitches. Fresh. #
• 21:52 Black lady wearing white face. #
• 21:53 Agh #
• 21:54 Heart me #
• 22:22 Tokyo, I'm tryin g to tune in to you. #
• 22:27 The kid is funny. #
• 22:31 I can't remember what dumb thing the kid did that I was going to tell you about. Let me ask Kevin... #
• 22:35 we were talking about sexual role playing. The kid said he'd be The Flash. It'd be over before she knew it. It's true and funny #
• 22:38 I would like someone to rub me now. #
• 22:38 The kid: wait, is The Cure a band? #
• 22:40 I almost peed. #
• 22:54 BFFL is making me blush. She's the bestestestest. #
• 22:59 I translated that. I. Am. Genius. #
• 23:00 Nfld #
• 23:01 That means No Fucking Low Down #
• 23:06 Tiny! #
• 23:06 Freshness is me. #
• 23:07 Panties off. #
• 23:12 You know who gets to gave a small penis? Jesus That's who. #
• 23:17 I wonder if @tinyjesus can turn bread into a dildo? #
• 23:40 In my head @bdgarp only wears very tight boxers and always shakes his ass for me. #
• 23:41 Billzey! #
• 23:42 All pigtails and no one to pull them. #
• 23:57 @BDGarp Not really so sweet as something else tonight. Besides you have a great ass. #
• 00:05 Steaming porn on my phone. #
• 00:05 Hahahaha. Streaming porn #
• 00:05 Hahaha. #

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08:57 Photo: SST: Still one

• 08:57 Photo: SST: Still one of my favorite pictures of me. tumblr.com/xt9czmijl #
• 10:39 @traviswseale Oh, sweetie, I promise you won't get bored. :) #
• 12:45 @theothersarah I posted mine. Even @itsderekhuff noticed. #
• 12:48 @EmaPalooza Because we love you. #
• 12:50 Kevin said to realize my dream of killing him it would take a pic of me, @theothersarah, @emapalooza & @jezebelthegreat making out. Ladies? #
• 12:59 @JezebelTheGreat Sweet. He said it would be okay to kill him that way because he'd be happy and wouldn't haunt me. #
• 13:49 @theothersarah Absolutely, if I can smack your ass a bit. He's too sick to get a real life insurance policy on him but it's a bit of cash. #
• 14:01 @imightbediddy Stop talking about me. It makes me sad. #
• 14:03 @RyanJJohn Don't listen to @imightbediddy. I love your boobs. #
• 15:02 @deviantpixel I think it depends on the man boobs. @MikeClitoris has pretty luscious man boobs. #
• 15:44 @EmaPalooza Are you trying to get out of making out with me? #
• 18:37 @deviantpixel @Kinda_Gay has to stand in line for the man boobs. :) #
• 18:37 @pmetten1 I'm right here, dear. #
• 18:37 @EmaPalooza Whew. I was a little sad there for a minute. :) I told him that you don't want to kiss me so he's dream will never be realized. #
• 18:59 The Kid doesn't think my 2ft cock joke is very funny. Fucking no sense of humor. #
• 18:59 @pmetten1 Working lots. I posted a racy-esque picture earlier. :) #
• 19:18 @SenecaBlues Honey, I never joke about your 2ft cock. I have only reverence for it and you. #
• 20:00 Super Homo! #
• 20:38 Jesus, people, if none of you are sending me dirty DMs then I'm going to have to actually work. #
• 20:48 @edwardvirtually All you have to d o is ask. But you're not following me either. Silly. #
• 20:55 @Sullivan_Smith I'm a woman. I never really happy. #
• 22:15 @blueblazerreg @Iamantilia Me too! #
• 00:16 @sexycommando hey, sugar lips. Who says I'm unavailable? #

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09:20 Celebrating @theothersarah's birthday by

• 09:20 Celebrating @theothersarah's birthday by eating breakfast in bed naked. #
• 11:12 I have a migraine. That's all. #
• 11:14 @YUCKYBOT I've never had a 100 stars and I'm hot as shit. Fresh shit, even. :) #
• 11:30 @theothersarah 42 days, and I'll be in bed with you again. :) Unless you want an earlier day visit. #
• 11:41 @ImNotAva Mouthgasm! #
• 11:47 It's almost noon, The Kid hasn't surfaced from his room yet. And people f rown on drugging your kids. #
• 13:21 I haz @annoyatron's gun. Shoot you. Bang. Bang. #
• 13:40 Photo: Today is my mom’s birthday. She turns 61 years-old today. I called her first thing this morning so... tumblr.com/xt9cxmo3p #
• 16:26 Photo: My special lady, @theothersarah, is also have a very special birthday today. A couple of months ago, I... tumblr.com/xt9cxyg1p #
• 16:49 @deviantpixel She didn't tell me what time to be there or I would be. Plus, she warned me that you'd be there. #
• 16:50 @theothersarah Sure thing, sugar tits. *smacks ass* (I was just channeling @benmarvin) #
• 16:51 @ImNotAva Awesome. My house bitch hasn't made my dinner yet. I should smack him in the ass and get him on it. #
• 16:52 .@HungryLikeKevin quit playing with your gay music on the Internet and make my damn dinner, bitch. #
• 16:54 I'm taking summer themed #bewbday suggestions... #
• 16:58 sogoddamn: This is what I have to suffer through. Your sympathy gifts are appreciated and welcome. tumblr.com/xt9cy0m7m #
• 17:03 .@HungryLikeKevin informed me that I've been bitten by a vampire on my shoulder. It better not be a sparkly one or I'm blowing some shit up. #
• 17:18 @thefemmenoir Nice. That is so precious. Nap time is the best. #
• 17:20 "Haha. You've lost your finger in my body." "I bet you hear that a lot." "The ladies, do love me." #
• 17:45 RT @Monikkab Kali Sharp is missing! Last seen 7/1 in the Thornton/Littleton CO area w/male 18 yo in a teal Civic. tinyurl.com/243f fd8 #
• 19:01 @HungryLikeKevin I don't know about generations but the people in this house are singing praises to you showering, finally. #
• 20:23 I have matching fang bites on my arm and my back. Yes, I can feel this spider crawling all over me now. #
• 20:54 Clear. #
• 20:56 @theothersarah You're the only person that *reads* my Twitter that would get that. #
• 20:56 I'm sure being able to type and play with my nipples at the same time is a skill that belongs on my resume. #
• 21:03 I wonder if @traviswseale will carry our love child...I'd tell you to follow but I don't want him to carry your love child instead of mine. #
• 22:48 @traviswseale Sweet. I like the curlies of seahorses too. Wait, just my many love children, right? Not my followers love children? #

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09:21 Called my dad to

• 09:21 Called my dad to tell him that I was sober most of the night last night. He wasn't as proud of me as I thought he'd be. #
• 09:27 PSA: Tomorrow two of my very favorite women have birthdays. #
• 10:49 "R as in X-Ray." Seriously? Jesus people are dumb. #
• 12:16 Internet is down. Argh. #
• 12:56 No Internet = Shower vs. Sleep. Unless anyone has a better idea. #
• 20:49 @azzman You should have come over. I don't need an AC yet. #
• 2 1:08 Holy shit! Tons of formspring questions...... #
• 21:29 You are confronted by a mugger in a major city in your… — I crush his eye sockets with my elbows. Shatter his k… 4ms.me/doo4Cc #
• 21:32 @theothersarah Gin is evil. I blackout and then you can do naughty things to me and I don't remember. Makes me sad not to remember. #
• 21:35 @JezebelTheGreat Em threaten to get me drunk on gin once. But she's too sweet to do it. #
• 21:35 Made tacos for dinner. I know. I'm a goddess. #
• 21:51 @theothersarah I'm in! @JezebelTheGreat @EmaPalooza #
• 21:52 @JezebelTheGreat Oh, we're getting drunk together. Gin makes me blackout. Whiskey makes me friendly and touchy. #
• 22:05 Humpday Humor: What do men do to get your attention, t… — Men don't really do anything to get my attention. Alth… 4ms.me/9r8VWN #
• 22:08 Do you think you'd find your favorite actor even more … — No. I think that would look strange. He's hot enough a… 4ms.me/9T4PHl #
• 22:18 M e: kids, birds are widely distributed, as are flying humans. Xray vision causes cancer; cancer sucks. don't have xray vision(via @sensible) #
• 22:44 If someone cannot stand up for themselves, are you inc… — Absolutely. It doesn't matter what one says, especiall… 4ms.me/bVCEcc #
• 22:57 Do you think it is moral or ethical to take two or mor… — Yes, I think that it's beyond a biological need to sur… 4ms.me/bWYFUG #
• 23:13 Because it's the 7th in her time zone....Happy Birthday @theothersarah. I love you! #
• 23:23 @theothersarah I'll wait unt il the morning for that one. She already loves me enough, no need to remind her at midnight how much she does. #

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08:06 You've been elected the

• 08:06 You've been elected the leader of your country. What's… — Don't Ask Don't Tell. It's ridiculous. It was ridiculo… 4ms.me/c6j6Lg #
• 14:38 Can you tell that I don't have any pants on? #
• 14:52 Sending Google Earth to check up on my BFFL. #
• 16:21 @theothersarah you are not allowed to drown. Your ass is hot as always. #
• 17:47 I wonder if @azzman blew off a finger last night so he permanently has The Shocker going on. #
• 17:52 Me: You’re going to be so bored wh en I break up with you. Kevin: Yes, I will be. But it’ll be uncomfortable... tumblr.com/xt9ct5acx #
• 19:02 I guess The Kid is having a gay-over with his friend. #
• 19:26 I'm painfully sober. #
• 22:00 Bewb pic! Your BFFL is invalid. #
• 22:04 No, I'm not out causing trouble. #
• 23:32 Dicks! #
• 01:13 I think the gas station guy just moaned at me. #

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